November 7, 2024
This post is part of my 30in30 challenge, where I write 30 minutes every day for 30 working days. Due to my limited time for this challenge, the content will be only very lightly researched and edited. The idea is to just write. Find my voice, and find the courage to publish. To follow my curiosity wherever it may take me.
Before I joined the tech industry, I didn't know what imposter syndrome was. I have not heard anyone talk about it and for all intents and purposes, I was immune to it.
But as soon as I started learning to code, there it was, rearing its ugly head. Suddenly it was all I could think about. Am I a fraud? How did I end up here? Ok, so I got this really great job at a reputable company, but that was just a mistake, surely. They will soon find out that I don't know anything, I shouldn't be here, and they will fire me. Any day now, any day.
Safe to say, it was all in my head. But it caused me a lot of anxiety and anguish.
As Seneca said:
We suffer more often in imagination than in reality
Too right, Seneca, too right.
Imposter syndrome was initially called the imposter phenomenon - a term coined by two psychologists, Pauline Rose Clance, and Suzanne Imes. It is, at its core, a fear of being exposed as a fraud, someone inadequate or not deserving. Someone who has successfully deceived some external audience and is about to be found out.
Impostor feelings seem to arise from what is called a threshold-crossing—it could be from one social class to another, one culture to another, or one vocation to another.
The good news is that a lot of people have it. I don't want to generalize and claim that everyone has it, but chances are that people you look up to have experienced it to some extent.
Maya Angelou famously said:
I have written 11 books, but each time I think, 'Uh oh, they're going to find out now. I've run a game on everybody, and they're going to find me out."
If Maya Angelou felt that way, I'm in good company.
Not only is threshold-crossing about moving from one class, culture, or vocation to another but even moving up in your existing area of expertise can trigger feelings of imposter syndrome. It means that you are on a growth edge, and if you feel that way, keep going; You are about to level up.
Robert Ta, the Chief Product Architect for Dayforce, said:
If I'm feeling a hint of impostor syndrome, that means I'm going the right way.
It turns out that experiencing the imposter syndrome doesn't necessarily have to be a negative experience. Yes, feeling like an impostor is no fun, but if it means that I am heading in the right direction and leveling up, I'll take it.