November 29, 2024
This post is part of my 30in30 challenge, where I write 30 minutes every day for 30 working days. Due to my limited time for this challenge, the content will be only very lightly researched and edited. The idea is to just write. Find my voice, and find the courage to publish. To follow my curiosity wherever it may take me.
Yesterday was the first time I didn’t write. I missed a day in the challenge, and it’s driving me a little crazy.
I’m worried because I have this pattern: if I can’t follow a plan perfectly, I tend to give it up entirely.
I’ll stick to an exercise plan for weeks—sometimes even months—but the moment I miss a session? That’s it. The plan flies out the window.
How long does it take to form a habit? 18 days? 30 days? 254 days?. Well, it doesn't seem to matter to me. Once I fall off the wagon, I am done.
So here is what is on my mind: It was easy to keep writing when I hadn’t missed a day. But now that I have missed one, can I keep going?
The reason I missed yesterday was a migraine—a nasty one. I still feel the aftereffects—my head feels bruised, as a friend described it. Exactly right.
It’s not that I didn’t want to write. Once the painkillers killed the worst of the pain, I thought about opening my laptop. But I just couldn’t. I could hardly formulate any thoughts. I don’t get visual auras with migraines, but I lose the ability to speak—and apparently, to think as well.
So, no writing happened yesterday. And now I am wondering: did I fail the challenge?
“Of course you didn’t,” my rational brain tells me.
But, my past experience is telling me otherwise.
Regardless, the important part is this: I’m writing today. Nothing revolutionary, no profound insights, just a free flow of post-migraine thoughts.
Let’s pretend yesterday didn’t happen. I’ll pick this back up on Monday, as usual.